


Between Given and Deserved

by Moonlady9



Category: Naruto
Genre: Adult Content, Adultery, Anal Sex, Cheating, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Heartbreak, Kink Negotiation, Light Dom/sub, Mutual Masturbation, Sex Toys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-23
Updated: 2020-08-23
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:33:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,584
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26056528
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Moonlady9/pseuds/Moonlady9
Summary: Sakura knew relationships weren't perfect, they took work, and she was willing to put the effort in for Itachi. She was just blindsided to find out that maybe Itachi wasn't as perfect as she thought and maybe there was no amount of work he could put in to rectify his mistake. Her friends helped, but the real surprise was Kakashi. She let herself lean on him when she lost her footing and he helped her stand tall again.
Relationships: Haruno Sakura/Hatake Kakashi, Haruno Sakura/Uchiha Itachi
Comments: 52
Kudos: 167





	Between Given and Deserved

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Yannygal](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yannygal/gifts).



> Hello everyone,  
> Here is a story requested by Yannygal  
> Thank you for your generosity and patience with me!  
> Special thanks to my wonderful beta katydid001  
> I hope everyone enjoys!

The moment Sakura stepped into her apartment, the scent of a delicious dinner assaulted her nose. She moaned delightfully as she found the source. Her sweet boyfriend, Itachi, was cooking dinner. His ebony eyes found hers. She went up to him, hugging him from behind as she gave him a soft kiss on his jaw.

“Welcome home, beautiful.” He bent down for her to kiss.

“That smells wonderful,” she praised.

“Why don’t you go change? Dinner should be ready when you get back.” He stirred the vegetables.

Letting him go slowly, she walked back, taking one last glance at him. He looked so sexy it was unfair really. Just standing there in pants and a simple shirt that gave a glimpse of his toned and defined body underneath. Her stomach fluttered. She would have him naked after dinner she promised herself.

After taking a quick shower to rid herself of the smell of antiseptic that followed her after the hospital, she opened a drawer where she kept her sexier clothes. She was feeling frisky tonight. She was about to depart on a month-long mission, and she wanted him. Pulling out a black lacy sheer bra and matching panties, she smiled to herself before throwing on a pink silk robe, loosely tied to allow a peek at what she was wearing underneath.

Itachi was plating dinner when she came back. Sex oozed from her, thick and intoxicating. She stepped forward in graceful movements that made him forget what he was doing until she reached him. Taking the plate from his hand, he found his voice again.

“You look delicious,” he growled low.

Sakura loved how his normally stoic expression changed for her. The way his eyes narrowed, the corner of his lips turned up, and his voice, dark and heavy. She walked off with the plates and a playful smile.

“Come on, Itachi-kun. Don’t want the food to get cold,” she teased.

Following her back to the table with wine and glasses, he made sure to have her sit on his lap as they ate. The thing he loved about Sakura was how open she was. She went for what she wanted unapologetically. It was hard to keep up with her sometimes.

Dinner was slow: they took their time teasing each other with every bite. After finishing the second bottle of wine, Itachi’s face was in her breasts. Her robe was somewhere on the floor, as she released his hair from its tie.

“You are so sexy,” he mumbled as he nipped at her mounds, tracing the lace with his tongue, “it’s unfair.”

With a pleased hum, she chuckled, “Is that a complaint, darling?”

In a swift motion he placed her on the edge of the table. Her emerald eyes, dark pools of lust, pulled him to her. Her lips were soft and sweet. They made him forget all the bad things in the world, the bad things he had done, and he was selfish enough to gorge on her.

Sakura moaned softly at his passionate kisses. His hands moved up and down her curves: gentle and caressing. “How was your day, love?”

He separated from her lips. His eyes flitted down before meeting hers. He smiled and kissed her again, “Better now that you’re here.”

Sakura smirked, spreading her legs as she leaned back on the table letting him have a clear view to her sheer panties. “How about dessert?”

The corner of his lip turned up, “Anything you want, ma’am.”

His hands held her legs open as his tongue pushed past her slick folds. Itachi took his time, getting her close and then moving away at the last second, just like she liked it. He wanted to satisfy her thoroughly—she deserved all the happiness in the world. Especially from him.

Sakura squirmed and whimpered every time he got her to the edge and then pulled back. He had slipped in two fingers, teasing the area that always made her see stars. “Oh, don’t stop. Make me cum,” she moaned. His fingers and mouth went straight to her most sensitive spots and then she was arching back as she climaxed with his skilled touches.

He slowed down, working her through her orgasm until she shuddered and groaned letting him know she was oversensitive. His hands moved up her body. He openly palmed her chest, kneading her mounds though the sheer lace that let her pink nipples peek through. There was no denying that Sakura was a sexual bomb, there was no mercy for anyone that fell into her trap. And he was no exception. He might be one of the most powerful Uchiha alive, but he was nothing compared to her lustful gazes. He had fallen to his knees the moment her emerald eyes turned on him in desire. All he could ever do was follow her blindly wherever she guided him.

Sakura sighed as his nimble fingers teased and tweaked her needy breasts. “Itachi… that feels good,” she mewled.

Taking her mouth in his, he ate up her little sounds that she gave him. His tongue parted her sweet lips, reaching for hers to intertwine with. She was the perfect woman: intelligent, beautiful, strong, sexy. He still didn’t understand how she had chosen him two years ago.

She was breathless as he pulled away, their saliva tying them together before it broke. “Itachi-kun…” Her eyes fluttered at him; he kissed down to her mounds, nipping and tugging at her hard peaks. “Can you tell me what you want?”

That was her way of asking for him to be the dominant one, a stone dropped in his stomach. Right now, what he wanted was to be able to look into her eyes without a pit of heaviness inside. He needed to do his best for her. So, he kissed her deeply before pulling her off, turning her over and bending her down until her cheek was on the table. He grabbed her wrists and pulled them back, so she was arching up slightly.

“I want you screaming my name, sweetheart.” With his free hand he roughly undid his pants, pulling out his erection. He rubbed himself between her slick folds, teasing her, making her whine and whimper. “I’m going to use you. I’m going to fuck you until I’m satisfied.”

“Mmmhmm… Yes, please! I’m here for you. Use me!” A choked cry fell out of her lips as he sheathed himself inside of her with one swift penetrating thrust.

He fucked her fast and deep, pulling on her panties so he could see their union. Her perfect ass, her creamy skin, that rose hair of hers that tumbled down. She was perfection and yet, his hips faltered as he was reminded of someone else and it ate at him.

Sakura felt his thrusts stutter. She looked back at him, “Itachi, are you okay?”

He cursed at himself. “Yeah, just tired,” he admitted.

She pulled herself apart and turned to cup his face, “Why didn’t you say so? We don’t have to…”

“I want to, but maybe...” He cut her off, he did want to, if only she knew why he was tired. Instead, he rubbed his thumbs over her hard peaks pressing against the sheer fabric.

“How about I take care of you then?” She took his hand and led him to her room. Pushing him down on the bed she climbed over his lap. She sank down on him slowly, rolling her hips sensually as his hands toyed with her see-through bra and breasts.

“I really like this.” He could see her pink nipples through the transparent fabric. Her perky breasts as they bounced. He pushed away the image of darker peaks and fuller mounds and forced himself to focus on Sakura. He brought his hand down to play with her clit. Her head fell back as she moaned.

This wasn’t what she had imagined for their night, she had hoped he would be the dominant one, but this was good too. She knew he didn’t always like taking control, but when he did, it was always spectacular. He always said he liked it more when she had the power. Maybe she could ask for something else tonight. She reached for the bedside table and grabbed some lube.

“Can we do anal?” She gave him an enticing smile.

“Whatever you want, love.” He wasn’t going to deny her that. The roiling guilt in his stomach reminded him that he should at least give her this much.

With a smile, she smeared his length and herself with the slick substance. She grabbed his cock and positioned herself over him, pressing his tip past her second entrance slowly. His hand still played with her pearl and slipped into her pussy. The delicious stretch made her grunt as she took him all in. “Oh, so good…” she murmured.

He let her move at her own pace, keeping up with her as she bounced over his cock. Her walls fluttered around his fingers and cock. “You’re so pretty when you ride me, baby.”

_ Baby? _ Her mind paused; he had never called her baby, it wasn’t a word she had ever considered Itachi saying. The thought was chased away as he started to thrust into her harder. It seemed he didn’t want to drag this on. He must be very tired. It suddenly made her feel a little selfish that she had pressured him into sex. The guilt fell away as he started fucking her in earnest, his fingers finding her weak spots like they were magic and then she was cumming. She screamed as she pinched her nipples, needing a little pain with her pleasure.

Itachi couldn’t hold back anymore, she was the most beautiful thing he was sure he would ever lay his eyes on, more than he could ever deserve. He grunted as he came, pulling out at the last second, squirting his orgasm on her ass.

Sakura sighed contentedly as his spend dripped down her thighs. He had reached back to grab tissues and wiped her clean before she fell into his arms, sated and tired. Sleep came to her quickly before she had a chance to talk to him. He had been off lately, and she had pushed it aside as maybe him working too much. It wasn’t like he could talk to her about his ANBU missions. She tried to be there in any way she could, but sometimes she caught him looking at her with a pained look in his eyes. She would have to corner him when she returned from her mission.

Sakura sat at the bar, nursing her drink in silence. How pathetic was she? Sitting in this dark corner, drinking the most bitter of vodka because that’s what she felt like; bitter. Itachi had been cheating on her. Two years with him and he had cheated. On her!

She downed the shot she had, letting it burn down her throat and asked for another.

Pathetic. He had cheated on her with Izumi. Of all people, Izumi. She was a sweet girl, not ugly, but an Uchiha. Sakura had always known Izumi had a crush on Itachi, but he had never seemed interested in the brunette, until now.

Her shot arrived. It barely touched the worn tabletop before she picked it up and downed it in a gulp. The bartender quirked his eyebrow. “Keep them coming until I’m on the floor.”

“How about I just give you the bottle?” he said instead.

“Even better,” she muttered. Anything that could help get the images out of her head. 

She had gone to his apartment to surprise him after coming back early from a mission. She couldn’t wait to see him, her mission had been arduous and she was hoping for some loving and pampering.

What she got instead was her heart crushed. She walked in to his apartment without thought, she had never needed to announce herself before, but there they were, fucking on the couch, Itachi had Izumi bent over the couch. Sakura had turned on her heels and fled. She had stopped in an alley to empty her stomach of the bile that was burning her from the inside.

Itachi had followed her home, to try to apologize, tried to explain himself, but she slammed the door on him without a word. He seemed to take the hint and gave her space. That had been a week ago.

The bartender came back with a bottle for her, before she could reach for it, a gloved hand took it from her grasp. She was about to unleash her frustration at anyone attempting to come between her and that bottle, when she was met with deep storm gray eyes.

“Kakashi!” she gasped in surprise. This wasn’t a place she would expect to see the Hokage at.

He looked at the bottle and gave her a questioning look. “Sakura-chan, what has you drinking a bottle in the corner of this dingy bar?”

She tisked, “It’s none of your concern, just give me the bottle.” She tried to reach for it, but he held it away from her reach. Her eyes narrowed dangerously.

“Now, Sakura-chan,” he grabbed her shot glass and filled it, “I’ll give it to you if you tell me why you're drinking so much.”

The clear liquid called to her, like a promise that all the rotten feelings of inadequacy and hurt would be drowned by that oil thick liquor. With a sigh, she relented, “I’ll tell you if you drink with me.”

Seeing it as a win, he pushed the glass to her and got his own, filling it. They clinked their glasses, and he sneakily downed his before she would notice his face. “So, what happened?”

The tone in his voice was caring and smooth, like a blanket of comfort she could wrap herself in. She looked down at the now empty glass, chewing her lip. She didn’t want to cry, she didn’t want her voice to break, she didn’t want to sound pathetic.

So she said it quickly. “Itachi and I are over.”

Kakashi watched the way her shoulders slumped, her hands trembled, her lower lip being chewed between her teeth. He filled their glasses again. “I’m sorry, Sakura. Why?”

Her eyes moved away, to look out to some random space in the back, “He cheated on me.”

That was a surprise. He had never imagined Itachi to be the guy to cheat, let alone on Sakura. They had seemed so happy and in love. This was not the Itachi he knew, it just went to show people were always surprising him. Sakura gulped the next shot and he didn’t blame her, just poured another round and drank with her.

Sakura appreciated that his questioning stopped. Maybe he didn’t want to hear her drama, or he just didn’t know what to say, either way she was glad to not talk about it. She wasn’t ready for that yet. It was nice to just sit there drinking and know she had a friend by her side to take care of her so she could get truly and properly wasted.

Kakashi had slowed his intake of alcohol, not wanting to get drunk, but it seemed she didn’t mind. He knew she needed to drown her sorrows away and she needed him to keep his head and watch her so he could take her home. He would sneak water to her when she wasn’t paying attention. Her cheeks got ruddier as the night went on.

“You know what sucks? I gave him everything. I put up with so much and tried so hard to make it work. He said he didn’t want to follow the plan the Uchiha had for him and then he goes and sleeps with an Uchiha.” She was slurring her words. The bottle was empty, and she wanted another.

He allowed for a second bottle to be brought, Sakura would only be as drunk as she wanted to be, as a medic she could control it, so if she wasn’t filtering the alcohol, it was because she didn’t want to. Anyone else he would have stopped and dragged out, but Sakura—she never drank like this, and it seemed she really needed this tonight.

The new bottle came to the table, the clear liquid swirling inside. She wanted to drown in it. Her heart had been squeezed dry. The juices of it just sloshed inside of her, he hadn’t broken her heart: he had stomped on it like macerated wine grapes. “The sucky part…” she continued again, “is that I still love him.” She sobbed out a hiccup.

Maybe she didn’t need the second bottle, he reached for her hand, lightly holding her wrist.

It was this small gesture, he wasn’t trying to coddle her, but he wanted to let her know he was there to listen, and it opened the floodgates. She turned to Kakashi, tears streaming down her eyes feeling wretched and stupid, for the cheating, for it making her like this, for crying to Kakashi, in public.

“Kakashi, I still love him so much and it’s taking everything in me to not run to him. I miss him and I hate him. I want to pummel him into the ground, and I want him to just hold me and tell me he loves  _ me _ and only me.” Her body shook as she sobbed her feelings to Kakashi.

Sakura had always been the one that needed the most affection of all his students, and while it wasn’t Kakashi’s strong suit, he had to try for her. She needed him. He pulled her into him, she dove into the crook of his shoulder, hiding her face from everyone as she cried.

“I’m here, Sakura,” he soothed as he held her gently against him, a hand running down her head. When she started sniffling he asked, “Want to get out of here?” She nodded with a hiccup.

She couldn’t bear to show her face, she was so embarrassed, but Kakashi wrapped his arm around her and she clung to him, hiding under his arm as he guided her out of the bar. He was holding her tightly and she was glad for it because once she started walking, her knees wobbled. She hadn’t drunk like that in so long, the alcohol had hit her harder than she expected. How fucken pathetic was she? The moment she felt the road and fresh air hit her; she started bawling into his chest. Why couldn’t she control herself? She didn’t behave like this; she wasn’t some immature girl that fell apart because of a man. She was goddamn Sakura Haruno!

And her heart was shattered—by a man she loved, a man she had thought of marrying. The fucker cheated on her. On her!

“Oh fuck, Kakashi! Why does it hurt so much?” she cried out in anguish.

It was wretched, it was raw and he felt so powerless to help her. The best he could do was get her home. “Because you love him so much. Let’s get you home.” He picked her up and dashed through the rooftops.

Kakashi entered her apartment, she was still sobbing. He walked them to the living room and sat down. She didn’t let him go, so he let her stay on his lap as she kept crying.

“I’m sorry you are going through this, Sakura. You don’t deserve this.” He hoped she could hear him through her sobs. He knew he couldn’t take her pain away, but he could be there for her.

“Was I not good enough?” she wept, “That he went and slept with someone else?”

“No, Sakura, never think that you aren’t good enough. This was about him, not about you.” He tried to move her mind away from blaming herself.

A surge of anger and shame hit her, she separated from Kakashi and started to pace the room. “What was it? Did I work too much? Did I not give him enough attention? Was I not sexy enough? I don’t know how this could have happened.”

He didn’t know how to answer these questions or what the appropriate thing to say was. “Sakura don’t blame yourself for his choices. He didn’t have to cheat on you, he could have told you what the problem was before taking the coward’s way out.” He went to put the kettle on the stove. She needed something to help her sleep.

Sakura furiously wiped her face from the tears that wouldn’t stop falling from anger and grief. “I feel so stupid.”

Kakashi went back to her, pulling her to him, and rocked her gently as she cried. “You’re not stupid, but it’s okay to be angry and upset. Just don’t blame yourself. You are a wonderful, caring, and loyal person. You are beautiful from the inside out.” He lifted her chin so she could see his eyes smile at her.

She let out a sniffling laugh, “Thanks for being here, Kakashi.”

He pressed a soft cloth covered kiss to her forehead. “Of course. Why don’t you go put some pajamas on then when you come back we’ll have tea?”

Warmth and comfort sounded so good, so she nodded and went to the bathroom. She washed her face, scrubbing as much of the tear tracks away as she could while getting rid of the grime and dirt. She found her most comfortable sleep pants and shirt then went back to the kitchen.

Kakashi was just finishing with the tea when he heard her come back. He turned around to place a cup in front of her on the table. He let her cry more as she took slow sips of chamomile tea with honey. When she finally tired herself out, he guided her to bed. He sat at her side until she fell asleep.

He grabbed some blankets from the hallway closet and made himself comfortable on the couch. He couldn’t bear to leave her or for her to wake up alone, and he knew she wouldn’t mind. He had crashed at her place often enough.

Sakura was woken up by the smell of eggs and coffee. She smiled before the realization of who would be the one making breakfast hit her, and it turned into a frown that brought tears. It was not Itachi, it was Kakashi and she had never been so angry at Kakashi. Instead of being grateful, she was angry. She knew, logically, she wasn’t really mad at Kakashi and that her resentment was towards Itachi, but her heart just wanted to rage. She couldn’t go out there in a foul mood when Kakashi was only being kind. Maybe a shower would help wash away all her bitterness and clear her mind.

Kakashi was setting the table when she came out, hair still wet, he gave her a small smile. “Sorry if I’m intruding—” he started.

She waved him off, “Thank you for staying, and for breakfast. I’m grateful you are here.”

He watched in concern as she picked at her food, trying to eat as much as she could. He knew she wouldn’t eat much, so after he finished his plate and even though she hadn't gotten through half of hers, he stood up and took it from her. She gave him a halfhearted quirk of her lip as he put the plates away.

The knock on the door made her jump, she knew that knock and without thought she opened the door to be met with ebony eyes surrounded by dark circles. She was stunned mute, seeing Itachi in front of her like a wounded cat. She wanted to throw herself around him like she usually did but at the same time bile started to rise.

“Sakura, can we talk?” He looked past her shoulder and saw that she had company. “Or, at another time.”

She looked back at Kakashi, unsure of what to do, but she knew he was waiting for her signal to stay or go. It just took a flick of her eyes for Kakashi to know.

“I’m sure Shikamaru is looking for me. I should get to my office,” Kakashi said tactfully as he disappeared in a jutsu.

The door opened wider for him, and Itachi stepped in. Suddenly, he felt like an invader to a place he used to consider home. 

Sakura walked deeper into the apartment and let him follow. She stood awkwardly, wrapping her arms around herself. “Why?” she asked, her eyes trying to find some answers in his face.

He winced at the pain and brokenness in her voice; he had caused that. What he wouldn’t give to take it all back. “I don’t—” he stopped himself; she deserved a better answer than that. “It was easy,” was what he managed instead.

“Easy?” her voice incredulous, “Easy? You cheated on me because it was  _ easy _ ?”

Shame and guilt had been plaguing him for months and now it had all come to a head. He had to face the consequences of his actions. His eyes turned up to look at hers, forcing him to see the rage and agony in her emerald eyes. “It just happened, she was around, and she wanted me.”

“And I didn’t want you? I wasn’t around?” She pounded her chest, “I came home to you. I waited for you when you were away. I don’t understand what I didn’t give you that she did.”

He looked down, unable to face her, “You’re right, I don’t have a good explanation. You are everything any man would want, smart, beautiful, sexy, and it’s so much more than I deserve.”

“What  _ you _ deserve?” It was like a shot to her heart. “What do you mean by that? What about what  _ I _ deserved?”

This was all coming out wrong. Itachi was the one that was always prepared, he planned things out, he had contingencies, but when it came to Sakura, he could never think straight. He hadn’t planned on hurting her, it had just happened. Her disappointment wasn’t something he had prepared to shoulder when he first slept with Izumi. The reality of what he had done didn’t hit him until after when he turned over expecting to see candy hair and emerald eyes and was met with chocolate instead. It was cowardly and he knew it. He tried to tell Sakura that day, to come clean and be honest, but he remembered how she came home excited about a successful new procedure she had come up with that saved someone’s life. The guilt and shame were a cycle that pulled him to Izumi’s bed and then brought home to Sakura, even when she didn’t know what it was.

Sakura had been watching his face as he internalized his thoughts and she had enough of watching him think, “For fuck’s sake, Itachi! Talk to me!”

He let out a sardonic chuckle, “That’s the problem, isn’t it? I’m not very good at talking. Maybe if I had I wouldn’t have hurt you like this.”

“Did you not love me anymore? Did you not want to be with me?” Those infuriating tears started falling again.

“I do love you, so very much, Sakura.” His hand reached up, but at the last moment, he retreated, “I want you in my life, I am so sorry for what I did. There aren’t enough words to my regret.”

It was all too much for her, “Everything is still so fresh. You should go.”

His hand dropped as she turned her back to him, wiping her face. “What will it take to have you back?”

“I don’t know if that’s possible, Itachi,” she hiccupped, forcing herself to stay rooted and not pull him in and pretend everything was back to the way it was.

“I do love you. Only you.” He wanted to hold her, and cradle her, and kiss all her tears away, but he knew he couldn’t, so instead he left, closing the door gently. The sound of her anguished cries came through the door and knowing he would only make it worse; he left the home that he broke.

Kakashi had stayed nearby, and when he heard her sobbing after Itachi left, he appeared beside her. He picked her up from the ground. “I have you.”

Sakura clung to Kakashi, he was so warm. He held her tightly as they sat on the couch, his arms embraced her, full of comfort. And she let it all out. Screaming, crying, cursing, even pounding on his chest, and Kakashi just took it all patiently, without complaint. Kakashi was and would always be her rock.

It was interesting how things changed in little ways as time passed. The first month, Itachi was leaving her flowers every morning. Flowers that said he loved her. Flowers that begged for forgiveness. Flowers that told her how much he missed her. She would take these flowers and put them in patient rooms instead. She knew Ino would have her hide if she threw them out, so this was a nice alternative. They could brighten someone else’s day, even if they only brought her gloom.

Kakashi would suddenly have reasons to visit her at the hospital. Like asking for a checkup when he had always done his best to avoid them. She giggled when he showed up and gave some half-assed excuse of needing to set an example as Hokage. She was grateful he was checking in on her. Sometimes Naruto would show up instead; taking her to lunch or coming in for a minor injury that Kurama could easily heal. It brought her a little brightness to scold him and there was no one better than Naruto to make her smile.

One time Sasuke came to see her, bringing her lunch, he hesitated before leaving, “He wants me to tell you something, but I won’t if you don’t want to hear it.”

“If it’s an apology, or how much he cares about me, I’d rather not hear it.” Sakura chewed her lip, “Actually, tell him to stop, with everything, I’ll talk to him when I’m ready.”

Sasuke nodded.

Another month later, and she was sitting in that dingy bar again. The amber liquid sitting in the glass promising her courage.

“It’s not going to drink itself.”

She was jolted from her thoughts as Kakashi slid into the stool beside her. “Oh, yeah, I just— I need a moment I guess.”

He ordered himself a whiskey as she picked up her glass, tilting it to watch the liquid churn inside.

“So, what’s the occasion,” he asked.

“I’m moving on—from Itachi,” she clarified.

“Ah, how do you feel about that.” His drink arrived and was set in front of him.

The tunnel of spinning whiskey in her hand was entrancing. “Good, bad. It’s a mixed bag. I was with him for so long. There are still memories of him everywhere. Luckily, my lease is up. So I found a new apartment and decided to move this weekend.”

“That’s good. Cheers to new beginnings.” The smile she gave him was small but full of promise, he would take what he could get, it was progress, after all. “Need help moving?”

She giggled after she swallowed, “Are you going to help me or send Raido and Genma instead?”

“Since when are you so selective of how you get help?” he teased.

The joking and laughing got easier as the drinks tallied up. She missed this carefree version of herself, the one hopeful for a future. Kakashi was great at keeping her laughing, his deadpan sarcasm or witty, snarky remarks had her chortling at the end of the night as they both stumbled out of the bar.

Moving was always more work than expected. She had so much more stuff than she thought she did. She was glad for the help as Raido, Genma, Naruto, Sasuke, and even Kakashi helped her transport boxes to her new apartment. She fed them dinner and had beer ready as they sat on her nice new hardwood floors.

“There’s still some boxes left. We can get the rest of them after we eat,” Raido offered kindly.

“No, don’t worry, there aren’t many left. I can finish myself. You guys have been wonderful helping get all the big stuff out.”

After the beer and food was gone, Raido and Genma headed out first, then Sasuke and Naruto, leaving Kakashi to straggle behind. He wanted to see how she was handling all this change. “It’s a nice apartment. You upgraded.”

Sakura looked around with a proud smile, “Yeah, I thought I should finally spoil myself. Have a real kitchen, a decent sized tub, hardwood floors. I really like this apartment. I think this is good. I feel good about this.”

Her smile was small and hopeful, but he could also see how much it took for her to be that optimistic. His hand reached for hers and gave it a gentle squeeze. “It will get better, and this is now your space to start anew, to let in whomever you decide to let in.”

She clung to his hand. How was it that he always knew what she needed to hear? “I know. Everyday hurts a little less.”

The way her shoulders dropped, like she no longer had to pretend, had him reaching for her. Kakashi pulled her into his chest as she buried her face into him. He kissed the top of her head, taking in the fresh and deep scent of a spring night. “I am so proud of the woman you have become, Sakura. You are strong, confident, and beautiful in every way.”

“Aren’t you being extra sentimental?” She looked up to see his smiling gray eyes.

Kakashi had never truly noticed until recently, but now every time he looked at her eyes; he was stunned by how many different shades of green swirled within them. The first time he noticed was because tears made her eyes sparkle, then when she genuinely smiled, he liked how they brightened, and now in the twilight, they just shone. “I just don’t think you hear it enough; how special you really are and how you should never be taken for granted.”

Sakura didn’t know what to say, it made her heart swell to hear such words of praise from Kakashi. He had been so present and attentive to her recently, his arms easily providing her solace, and she had taken advantage of it, liking the peace he brought her. She leaned her head on his shoulder.

“Kakashi, why are you still single?” It wasn’t meant to sound so abrupt, but it just spilled out.

He laughed softly, “I suppose, I never felt like I deserved it. With all the things I have done in my life.”

There was that word again, Itachi had said something similar. She sat up to look at him straight on. “What do you mean by deserve? Love isn’t about what you deserve, it’s what’s given to you.”

There was a fierceness in her eyes that made him wonder why that word had brought up this passionate argument. “It’s hard to accept a gift when you feel like you haven’t done anything to earn it.”

His eyes lowered as if he was ashamed and it just cut her. She wrapped her arms around his neck, kissing his covered cheek. “You have earned the gift of love, Kakashi. Know that we all love you very much. You should let us love you, let me love you.”

It wasn’t meant to sound so heavy, or romantic. It wasn’t the type of love she was talking about, but as her nose grazed his, and his eyes widened at her closeness she couldn’t help but let that little flame kindle within her.

Kakashi knew that she didn’t mean the romantic type of love, but now said out loud, there was a spark in her eyes that seemed to ignite something within him too. “I’ll try.”

A gentle laugh filled the space between them, “That’s all I can ask. I’ll try not to let this ruin my ability to love others and you try to accept the love given to you. Deal?”

“Deal.” He smiled as she grinned, giving him one more peck on the cheek and standing up, leaving him to wonder if this was a moment that he should be ingraining in his memory.

“It’s been two months since you’ve moved in, and you still have boxes. I never would have thought you the unorganized type, Sakura.” Kakashi teased as he pushed a box aside to find wine glasses.

“I’ve been busy at the hospital. You know that since you’re the one that assigns my shifts.” She found a bottle of red wine in another box.

“I didn’t assign you that many, you just like to stay past your allotted time.” He rinsed the glasses and brought them to her. They had decided to have a celebratory dinner for finishing a cross-training seminar with Suna.

Sakura had been spending more time at the hospital, focusing on her passion, reminding herself of her value, and Kakashi had been a constant support. It also helped that Itachi hardly spent time in the village anymore. The last time she spoke to him was when she had first moved and let him know she couldn’t forgive him, that it was best to just move on with their lives, and she was doing everything she could to make sure she was.

Kakashi brought the takeout to the living room as they settled around. He had tried his best to keep his promise and to be more present in the lives of the people he cared for the most, especially hers. Now he noticed new things about her, how she tucked her hair back when she was thinking, how she chewed her thumbnail when she was unsure, the little giggle she tried to hide when Naruto and Sasuke bickered and how she always immediately turned to him in solidarity of their joined mock exasperation at their teammates.

She had noticed a lightness to Kakashi recently, and she was glad for it. She would have invited everyone else to their dinner, but they were all away on missions. There was a new level of openness between them she couldn’t quite explain, but he didn’t hide things as much anymore.

They ate and drank, finding a bottle of whiskey after the wine was finished.

“It’s late, I should get going.” He tried to stand up and wobbled.

Sakura laughed, “You can barely walk, stay.”

He tried to balance himself but ended up falling back onto the couch and bringing down a nearby box, its contents spilling across the floor.

Seeing what had tumbled out, Sakura yelped and threw herself over the items, not sure what she was trying to accomplish, Kakashi was sure to have seen them.

He bent down to pick up a pair of leather cuffs. Her face was bright red. Her body splayed as she tried to cover the rest of the illicit toys. “So, leather cuffs not metal ones?”

She groaned in embarrassment, “The metal ones hurt. Leather is more comfortable for me.”

“That’s true.” There was something else that caught his eye, he plucked it up, “And a plug?”

She shrieked,“Kakashi! Stop! Oh god!” Taking the toy from his hands, she hastily pushed everything back into the box.

He laughed at her flustered actions. “And clamps!” he chortled, “Any paddles or floggers in that magic box of yours?” The deeper red that extended to her ears was his confirmation.

“I fucken swear Kakashi! Shut up!” She grabbed the box and shoved it behind the couch.

“Was it for you or Itachi?”

The mention of Itachi’s name had her hand flying to hit his shoulder, he caught it pulling her closer, kissing her wrist in apology.

“I’m sorry, that’s none of my business.” He could blame the alcohol for his unfiltered questions, but he also couldn’t lie to himself that he was curious too.

With a scoff she pulled back her hand. “You’re so stupid.”

“Sakura-chan,” he said in a sing-song tone as he chased after her. “I’m sorry, but it was really funny.”

A thin smile crept up to her lips at seeing him act so adorable, “Can we just forget about whatever you just saw?”

“Nope, never going to forget, now I want to know what else you have.” He threw himself over the couch reaching for the box before she could stop him.

“I am going to murder you!” She flung herself at him, fighting over the box.

“These look hardly used,” he teased as he pulled things out.

“Stop being nosy!”

“Didn’t peg you as…. Is this a strap-on? Please tell me you used this on Itachi.” He was having too much fun tormenting her.

“No, Itachi didn’t like any of this stuff.” She finally managed to get the box back, “And it’s private!”

There was a mischievous shine in his eyes as he leaned close to her, “I’m just teasing you, Sakura, but when was the last time you had fun with those toys?”

The energy around them had changed, it was heavier, darker, and it made her breathless. “It doesn’t matter.”

“Have you ever been with someone that has known how to use those?” His stormy eyes glanced at the container.

It must have been the alcohol making its way through her because, much to her surprise, she answered. “Not as well as I had hoped.”

Her eyes had deepened as her cheeks turned rosy, her tongue flicked out to wet her lips and all he could think of was how much he wanted to taste her. “That’s a shame.”

Hyper aware of his closeness and her short breath, she stayed frozen, unsure if she wanted to stop him or keep playing this game with him. “It really is.”

“If you could ask for anything in bed what would it be?” He kept moving forward as she leaned back on the armrest. He knew if she wanted him away from her, she would have said so a long time ago. Since she hadn’t told him to get off, he took advantage and stretched over her.

His body was hot over hers, her fingers clung to the cushions underneath as his arms caged her in. For comfort, she spread her legs so he could fit better between them. “That’s…” she couldn’t believe she was having this conversation with Kakashi, “I, um, like giving up control, but I also like being in control sometimes.”

“So, you’re a switch like me,” he mused. “Are there things you don’t like?”

She swallowed as his voice lowered, sending shivers down her spine to her belly. “I, uh, don’t like being slapped in the face. I don’t like being called mistress, but ma’am is okay. Spanking is fine but I don’t like it so hard that it leaves dark bruises. I like anal, choking and edging, being held down, hair pulled.”

“Mmm… what about being verbally degraded?” he purred into her ear, feeling the sharp intake of her breath.

“I don’t mind if I’m in the mood, but I love praise, so calling me something vulgar with praise is acceptable.” His hot breath was on her neck, his covered nose grazing her jaw. Her heart was hammering in her chest, she had never felt so comfortable talking to someone about her desires so openly. She curled her fingers on his shirt, feeling his own heart palpitating as erratically as hers. “How about you?”

He hummed, taking a deep breath of her scent, “I’m a switch too. I’m pretty open to anything, really. I have a lot of experience with bondage, submission, and domination, not really into pain for pain’s sake. I’m not a masochist or a sadist, but I do like some pain. I also don’t like being blindfolded.” His face came back up to hers, her eyes were swirling.

She couldn’t hold back anymore, her chin tilted up and she kissed him over the cloth of his mask. Her heart stopped; she couldn’t believe she had done that. She pulled back immediately and tried to cover her face from the sudden shame she felt but was surprised when his hands pinned her wrists down and then she felt his lips, without the covering. He tasted like a winter’s night. His mouth was hot and icy and softer than she had ever expected, not that she had wondered what his kisses would be like before, but his lips made her head spin in a way she hadn’t felt in a very long time.

He hadn’t thought she would be the one to make the first move, but he greedily took it. She was so sweet, warm, and soft. Her hands fell back, allowing him control. Her surprise ebbed and she gave into his kisses, she sighed softly as they continued. He didn’t know what had taken over, but he was glad for it.

“Kakashi…” she gasped as he moved down to kiss her jaw.

“Do you want me to stop?”

“No, keep going.” He licked at a spot on her neck that made her mewl.

“Can you be my good girl? Let me take care of you?” He nibbled on her ear.

The way he said  _ good girl _ made her skin tingle, “Yes, I’ll be your good girl.”

His fingers curled around the base of her neck as he kissed her pulse point. “Stoplight system work for you?”

Was she really going to do this? Really going to have sex with Kakashi? “Yes, that’s perfect.”

Kakashi wasn’t going to lie to himself at how much her agreement stirred feelings of lust and desire within him. How much he wanted to have her pleasure at his mercy, how much he wanted her to beg. “What do you want to call me?”

Her eyes fluttered close, “Can I just call you Kakashi for now?” She was going to really do this. It was best to start off slow, she could always ask later if she wanted to call him something else. She was going to let him do what he wanted with her, and it excited her, she just knew that he wouldn’t disappoint.

That word at the end,  _ now _ , it insinuated a future, more of this, and the spark was suddenly a flame. “Call me whatever you want, sweetheart.” His fingers found the buttons of her top, undoing them slowly, portions of her milky skin unveiled to his eyes and his lips as he kissed each new inch.

Sakura wanted to move her hands, to touch him, but she held back, keeping her hands where he had pressed them to earlier. He hadn’t told her she could move; he hadn’t told her she couldn’t, but she would rather let him guide her. Every button he undid increased her desire for more, but he was calculating in his touches.

Kakashi finally reached the last button, satisfied with her heavy panting breaths. He pushed her top open, leaving her in a simple black bra that cupped her modest breasts perfectly. He kissed up her stomach, feeling it ripple underneath his touches. Her mewling whines were wonderful; he was going to take his time with her. He skimmed between the valley of her breasts, his mouth settled instead on her collarbone, licking and sucking small marks on her porcelain skin. Her hands hadn’t moved from where he had pinned them earlier, he should reward her.

She let him move her arms as he slid off her top and then brought them back beside her head.

“You are being such a good girl,” he mumbled against her neck. “What would you like as a reward?”

Her breasts tingled from his deliberate avoidance, “Can you play with my breasts please?”

“Good girls get rewarded with anything they want.” He went under her back to undo the clasp, removing her bra, releasing her full mounds. “So pretty,” he murmured as his thumb traced the underside, watching as her rosy nipples distended, wanting attention. He gave one a careful lick, circling his tongue as she moaned, arching into his mouth. Not forgetting about its twin his pinched and plucked, alternating until she was writhing.

Her head rolled back as his other hand caressed her stomach, his touches warm and firm. The heat in her belly pooled as she rocked up to his hardened bulge, sending spasms of pleasure shooting up her spine. She grunted as he pinned her hips down.

“Naughty girl, I didn’t tell you to move.” He bit her breast, leaving a welt, lifting himself off her, limiting their contact. Her whine made him smirk.

She opened her eyes and was greeted with a clear view of his face. “You’re so handsome…” she said breathlessly. His full lips with the little beauty mark under the left side, she wanted so badly to touch.

He laughed, kissing her nose. “You can admire it later, if you’ve been a good girl, but for now, I’m going to punish you.”

The smirk on his perfect lips made her fingers tingle. He stood up in front of her. She didn’t move from her spot, waiting for his instructions. He seemed to revel in her obedience, his dark eyes swirling.

He took his time looking her over, her pert breasts rising with each breath, her flat stomach, she was still in her skirt, but he would leave it for now. “I suddenly feel overdressed. Why don’t you help me with that?”

Sakura sat up slowly, her lashes fluttering as she looked up at him, “Can I call you ‘Sir’?”

His breath caught, “Yes, gods please.”

She smiled as she stood up. Her fingers undoing the buckles of his vest, she let her fingers trail down his chest as she pushed it off leaving him in his usual long-sleeve shirt. She traced his muscles through the cloth down until she reached the edge. He stayed unmoving, but she could feel his heart thumping under her touches. She lifted the shirt, standing on her toes to pull it off his head, leaving his torso bare but she didn’t touch any more. Her hands went to his pants, but he grabbed her wrists.

“No hands for the next part.”

“Yes, Sir.” She sank down, her nose grazing the silver curls that peeked over his low hanging pants. Her teeth took the edge of the fabric, tugging it free of the button. Then her teeth went to the zipper, she pulled it down, looking up at him through her lashes.

It took a lot more restraint than he thought to stand still and not tear off his pants, and she wasn’t making it easy with her lust-filled eyes turned up at him. She pulled his pants to his knees, then got to work on his boxers. He noticed her pause as she unveiled his erection, she licked her lips but continued. He helped her out by stepping out of his bottoms.

“Why don’t you take off the rest of your clothes?” He went to sit on the couch.

She took in the view of his sculpted body, his hard cock jutting out, pink head leaking. “Yes, Sir.”

His eyes locked on to her as she reached back to undo the zipper of her skirt. It fell, pooling at her feet, and leaving her in simple black panties. She turned sideways as she bent over to pull those off too. The curve of her ass was distracting. Then she was turning to face him, her full nudity on display, the sweet blush on her face had him holding out his hand for her.

“Come here, beautiful.” He took her hand, kissing it and moving up her arm.

Sakura giggled as she straddled his lap, “Can I kiss you, Sir?”

“Yes, you earned it.” Her lips slated over his as she curled her fingers around the hairs on the base of his neck.

She was delighted as his hands settled on her waist, adjusting her so his hardness was rubbing against her sensitive pearl. He was doing his best to undo her, and she was letting him. His tongue flicked against her lips, she reached out her own tongue to meet his in slow circles.

Kakashi ground himself against her dripping folds as their tongues explored each other’s mouths. Her clit rubbed over the sensitive underside of his cock. She was panting and moaning into his mouth as he played with her nipples.

“Sir,” she gasped, “Can I cum?”

“Are you feeling good?” He kissed the edge of her jaw.

“Yes, it feels good.” The heat of their grinding built up slow and she could feel her orgasm wanting to crest soon.

“And if I tell you no.” His teeth grazed her shoulder.

Her whimper was a pathetic cry of need, “Then I won’t cum. But please, Sir… Please make me feel good.”

“Since you asked before you came and asked so nicely, I’ll let you cum whenever you want, but I want you to use a toy.” He bit on the side of her neck as he held her hips still.

She huffed, his smirk infuriating and arousing. Knowing not to argue, she stepped off and went to her box. She picked out a wand, and as a last-minute choice a set of nipple clamps. She went back to the couch, “Can you put these on please?”

Kakashi smirked, “Gladly.” He suckled on each rosy peak until they were hard and placed the clamps carefully. “These are cute,” he admired, playing with the dangling pink stones.

“I’m glad you like them, Sir.” She sank on the floor laying on her back, spreading her legs. She drank in the look of approval and lust in his stormy eyes, easing her shyness. With the confidence he gave her with just a look, she placed the head of the wand over her mound and turned it on.

His eyes didn’t move as she pleasured herself. This was one of those moments he rued the loss of his sharingan, he would have loved to ingrain this scene into his mind in perfect clarity, but for now he just enjoyed the show. His hand moved down to stroke himself as she rocked onto the vibrations.

“You’re so pretty making yourself cum, princess,” he purred as his hand moved up his shaft.

Her eyes fluttered open to watch him touch himself. He was so sexy with his hand wrapped around his thickness. She couldn’t wait until he was inside of her. For now, he wanted a show and she wanted him to enjoy it. She increased the vibrations and tugged on the clamps, moaning freely for him until she peaked.

It was always breathtaking to see something as beautiful as his lover orgasming but seeing Sakura climax was on another level. She arched like she wanted to float away; her body trembled like she could barely hold herself together. He went down to her, pulling her hips to him and sunk into her still quaking pussy.

“Aaah fuck!” he growled.

She screamed as he shoved himself into her, extended her orgasm. He pumped into her fast and deep making her hands clench.

Kakashi smirked as her orgasmic cries continued. He kept fucking her, feeling her walls clamp around him. “Keep cumming, sweetheart,” he encouraged as he held the wand in place for her.

Her mind was mush; she couldn’t think, the overloading of pleasure had her writhing and her eyes watering at his ruthless movements. “Oh, Sir! So big… too much…”

“You can take it, sweetheart.” He leaned forward, her head fell back to give him access, he soothed the bites with a swipe of his tongue. “My good girl is going to take my cock like a good whore, aren’t you?”

She gulped down air in his relentless thrusts, “Yes, Sir! I’ll be a good whore, I’ll take your cock.”

“Fuck, you’re so sexy. You’re going to take my cum like a good cum slut too?”

“Yes! Please! Fill me up. I want it!” She gripped his arms, holding on to him. He had managed to keep the vibrator between them dragging her back to orgasm under him.

“That’s it, you’re such a good whore, getting off on me fucking you,” he groaned as her insides convulsed deliciously around his shaft. She shuddered from overstimulation, granting her a little mercy, he finally got rid of the wand so he could piston into her freely. He kneeled back, his hand on her lower back holding her hips up so he could reach deeper, making her breasts bounce, the stones of the clamps swinging as he used her.

It was the most intense orgasm she had experienced in a very long time. She had forgotten they could feel like the world was breaking apart, like she was being swallowed up by lava, like she was floating on clouds all at the same time.

Not holding back, he released his own orgasm. His cum pulsed out, filling her as she begged for more. “I’ll give you everything, sweetheart. You have been so good.”

He slumped over her as they came down to each other, he kissed her lazily where he could reach, her neck, her cheek, her lips. Her pretty flushed face, her hair stuck to her face from perspiration, her plump lips trembling with each breath, she was a dream.

Sakura laughed lightly when she was able to finally breathe. She looked into his eyes as she brushed back his sweaty hair, “That was wonderful. Thank you, Kakashi.”

He chuckled, “I should be thanking you. That was amazing.” He kissed her nose, “What do you need?”

“Mmm… water for now.” She squeaked as he picked her up carrying her to her bed.

“I’ll get you water.” He left her on the bed as he made his way to the kitchen. He peeked into the box, grabbed a dildo, a plug and some other toys and went back to her. Maybe they could try a few more things.

Kakashi was a great partner: he was uncomplicated in bed, they worked seamlessly together, and their nights together made it easier to get through the days. In the months that followed, her heart healed slowly. She would still sometimes see Itachi when he came back from a mission and every time it left her raw, and she would always go to Kakashi after. He was comfort, he would hold her, cuddle her, have slow, sweet, sensual sex with her until she could sleep. Kakashi was solace.

“Itachi, I can’t keep doing this,” she cried to Itachi, as he appeared at her apartment door, begging for forgiveness again.

“Then please, take me back. I want to make this right. I will do anything. I don’t even care about Kakashi.” He had heard the rumors, and more than once he had noticed their closeness and familiarity that had taken a new layer.

She scoffed, “It’s not about Kakashi, this is about you. I can’t build a relationship with you. You broke what we had, and there isn’t anything to salvage anymore. Please, just stop. If you truly love me let me have peace. Every time you show up it tears me apart again.”

The tears that fell this time were different, it wasn’t anger, it was painful desperation. She was tired. He nodded slowly, “I just… I miss you so much.”

“I can’t do this anymore, Itachi.” She turned from him and she heard the door close as he left.

Itachi hoped that maybe more time away would help. His next mission would send him away for two months. Maybe she would feel different when he came back.

Sakura laid on her bed, she could feel the warm morning sun filtering in, the cool breeze making her curtains dance, and the soft breathing of her lover beside her. She shifted closer to Kakashi, he stirred, pulling her into his body in sleepy mumbles. This was such a perfect morning, even if she was a little sore, but when reminded of the reasons she was sore, she just smiled.

Their tranquil morning snuggles were interrupted by a knock on the door. They both grumbled in annoyance, but as there was a second knock Sakura groaned in irritation as she left Kakashi’s arms and threw on a robe. She padded to the door rubbing the sleep from her eyes.

“I’m coming,” she mumbled as the knocking persisted.

As she pulled the door open, she was surprised to see Itachi. To be more precise, she was surprised that she didn’t have a more visceral reaction to him like she used to. Instead of dread and anxiety, she glanced at him wondering what else he could possibly say to her that he hadn’t said before. “Oh, hi, what are you doing here?”

Itachi stood awkwardly. He had come with the intention of fighting for her forgiveness, begging for it again, but seeing her now, he paused. Her sweetly mussed sleep hair, the loose robe showing her skin and stark against the paleness were red marks down her neck and chest. He glanced behind her shoulder into her apartment, he caught a glimpse of a vest with the red lettering of “Rokudaime” on it. The reality that she had moved on hit him further as he looked into her eyes and no longer saw pain and anger in them, just curiosity. Those emerald eyes that had looked at him with adoration now looked at him like he was just another person.

“Itachi, are you okay?” she asked again, wondering why he was looking so confused.

Her voice brought him back, “I wanted to say, I’m sorry. For everything. You didn’t deserve it and it was wrong of me. I hope you know, I truly love you, I always will but I also know that what we had could never be repaired because of the mistake I made. I genuinely wish you happiness.” He placed a small chaste kiss on her forehead and left.

Sakura stood in stunned silence. It had been months since she had seen him last, he had chosen long-term missions and she assumed it had been to escape the gossip. She hadn’t expected him, the ever proud and stoic, Itachi, to come to her and apologize with that look of resignation on his dark eyes. This time it wasn’t an apology to get her back, it was an apology to let her go, and she was grateful for it.

“Who was it?” Kakashi came up behind her as she closed the door.

His hands gripped her hips, his thumbs making soothing circles as his lips kissed her neck. “It was Itachi.”

“What did he want?” He switched to the other side of her neck, enjoying how she melted into him.

“He apologized. For everything.” The words now said out loud made her feel lighter.

“How do you feel about that?” Kakashi stilled, waiting for her reaction.

She pressed her backside to him. “I feel good, free.”

He chuckled as he undid her robe. “Good, I want you happy.”

She shrugged off the fabric as his hand slipped up to cup her breasts. She turned her head back with a smirk and a kiss. “I can think of a few more ways you can make me happy.”

“Anything you ask, Ma’am.”

“And then I can make you happy, Sir.”

**Author's Note:**

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